


Think about it

by In_memory_of_sheep



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Blackstar doesn’t know how to do anything, F/M, Fluff, M/M, basically crack, cute I guess, fluffiest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 23:44:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14389602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/In_memory_of_sheep/pseuds/In_memory_of_sheep
Summary: In which Blackstar has some unanswerable questions, and Kid is burdened with the task of hearing them.





	Think about it

**Author's Note:**

  * For [raviolios](https://archiveofourown.org/users/raviolios/gifts), [PastelGuts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastelGuts/gifts).



They swam like fishes in the sea, swirling and gliding with every new wave of questions. They sparkled like distant stars, filled with wonder and intrigue, and even though they seemed so far, there were some within his very own heart. They crackled and sparked within the depths of his brain, so many thoughts and questions swirling together, combining themselves to make new thoughts and questions. It was so beautiful whenever you thought about it that way, yet the utter bullshit that exited Blackstar’s mouth when he presented those thoughts was much less beautiful.

” Tsubaki?”

” Yes Blackstar?” The weapon turned to look at her Meister. They had been sitting on the roof of their house watching the stars, but Tsubaki was more intent of watching the look on Blackstar’s face. He glared and marveled at the stars as if the had an answer written in them, as if the answer was somewhere beyond them. She felt her heart lift as he trusted her to answer his question, as if she was one of the stars that he marveled at for answers an-

“ If I cut my dick off, will it grow back?”

” W-what?” Tsubaki looked at him and batted her eyes in surprise, hoping that maybe she misheard him, that maybe she was still a star full of knowledge and comfort.

” If I chopped off my dick, will it grow back?”

Nope. That star had burned out the first time Blackstar had trusted her with answering something.

” Well... no, you’re permanently getting rid of it if you chop it off... uh-“

” But I found this cool comic about a thingie that if you chopped off its dick it would grow _TWO_  more!!!”

” Blackstar, that’s a hydra, and they grow their  _heads_ back, not- why did you think- where-“

” Yeah, but I wouldn’t look cool with three heads, I’m supposed to be a  _handsome_ god. So, I thought, ‘what would be cool to have grow back if it was chopped off?’ Then boom: mah dick. So, if I chopped it off, would my wanker return?” Tsubaki looked at him, then looked at the stars, and back at him. Without saying a word, she stood up and started to crawl back into the house through the window.

” You didn’t answer my question! Tsubaki!” Tsubaki didn’t look up as she slid into the window.

” Astronomy is a lie. You’ve reverted me back to the crust of a space rock.”

” What? What does that mean? Hey Tsubaki, wait!”

* * *

 

Those thoughts still swam in Blackstar’s head, keeping him up at night, keeping the people he shared them with constantly disturbed and haunted by them. The stupider they were, the more they sparked and lighted in his head, the more he had to get them out. Eventually though, he had driven off the people who could answer his questions. Tsubaki was still haunted by past Blackstar questions, Maka was tired of his bullshit, Kilik just gave up, and even though Soul was willing to listen, his brain still couldn’t comprehend the utter stupidity Blackstar released. Blackstar was eating lunch when it came to him. He stopped in the middle of eating his sandwich, his eyes widening and the gears in his brain spinning at unimaginable speeds.

” Oh no, what’re you thinking about this time?” Soul said, noticing Blackstar’s expression. Blackstar’s mind raced, the questions and answers piling up into a giant heap within his brain.

He had to know. He’d ask them. Wait, he couldn’t ask them that, he’d made that mistake with Tsubaki. Who could he ask? Maka would know, but she was another girl. That would be weird. Soul would know, but he wasn’t a girl, and he had a different method of transforming into a weapon. He needed somebody who knew them, who  _really_ knew them. They would be comfortable with answering the question, probably, and they could even have the answer he was looking for. Blackstar’s eyes scanned the front of the school, freezing on ivory skin and soft stripes. Perfect. Blackstar stood up and walked towards his target with determination and the question that burned him from the inside out.

” Hey kiddo!” Kid looked up from his food, Blackstar didn’t know what it was, but it looked a hell of a lot better and expensive than his sandwich. Kid had a slightly irritated look on his face that most people had with Blackstar, one that wasn’t agitated or furious, but one that let you know they were open to stabbing Blackstar if he didn’t shut up.

” Please don’t call me that. I only let my father use that nickname, and even then, I don’t really like him treating me like I’m a little boy.”

” Yeah yeah yeah, we get it, daddy issues, good stuff, whoop whoop-“ Blackstar threw himself forward, placing his elbows on Kid’s shoulders and looking him in the eye.

” You’re smart, and I have a question. Isn’t that convenient?” Kid leaned back to get more personal space before answering.

” It depends, everyone’s told me about avoiding your questions, and being around you all the time I can partly see why.”

” Ouch. That’s cold dude,” Blackstar said, clutching his chest for dramatic effect. “ I come to you, complimenting your knowledge and grace, and you deny me because Maka keeps on gossiping about how I’m the worst? Shame.”

” You never complimented my grace, and Maka almost never complains, so I feel that you’re more of a handful then I’ve been willing to see,” Kid remarked, stabbing a piece of his food with his fork, “ and I’d like to keep it that way if you don’t mind.”

” I  _do_ mind, thank you very much,” Blackstar said as he leaned forward and ate the food off of Kid’s fork before Kid could eat it himself, “ and if you want me to compliment you so much, then let me start by saying your cooking’s really good.” Kid gave Blackstar a grimace that was appropriate for food poisoning.

” Fine, I’ll answer your question  _on the condition_ that it is not about your dick.”

 _“_ Don’t worry Kiddo, I’m not asking you about that this time.”

” Ok the- wait, what do you mean by ‘ _this tim-_ “

” Ok, the reason I came to you is because you’re smart, and it’s about Liz and Patty. You know them better than anybody else, and I can’t ask them my question to their face, so that’s why I’m asking you.”

” Oh,” Kid said, concern growing on his face. What had Liz and Patty done? He hoped Blackstar didn’t have any problems with his sisters. “ What’s bothering you about them?”

” Well...” Blackstar mumbled, twisting the bottom of his shoe on the concrete.

” You can tell me anything, you know. I won’t tell anybody else either. I respect whatever thoughts you might have abou-“

” So you know how when Soul transforms, his arm becomes the scythe blade, and when Tsubaki transforms her ponytail is the chain for my chain scythe? What part of Liz and Patty are the triggers? Like, do you ever wonder what part of them you’re squeezing, or what hole the bullets come out of? Like dude, you could be violating them  _big time_ without even knowing it. Also, if the bullets  _do_ come out of their, um, *ahem*  , then what would it be like if they had a baby? Would it like, launch out of their vasagna like a bullet? Or would they have to transform into a gun to go into labor? Dude, imagine a baby shooting out at top speed. Wouldn’t that be fucking crazy?”

Kid stared at him. Blackstar was just standing there, a happy grin plastered on his face, his eyes filled with childlike wonder.

” Did- did you- why- when?- did you call their genitals a  _vasagna??_ “. It was too much for Kid to process. He couldn’t answer he question, what even was the question? It was like something only Blackstar could think of, yet something he had already thought about without realizing it, and Blackstar was acting like he had asked something innocent like “ why is grass green?” instead of, “ if your sister gave birth, would she blow a hole through the doctor’s skull?”. Kid sat there, thinking about the mysteries of the universe, weapon/ Meister relationships and transformations, and how he can  _never eat lasagna again._

” Well, I’m about pooped. I think I’m just gonna skip today. You gonna finish that?” Kid didn’t respond, neither his expression nor his posture were changing. “ I’m gonna go ahead and take that as a yes, thank you very much,” Blackstar said while scooping up the container of Kid’s food. “ I’ll give this back to you ASAP alright? Thanks for helping me Kiddo!”

As Blackstar walked away from the school, Kid remained lifeless where he was sitting, letting the burdening questions of his sister’s anatomy haunt him.

* * *

 

The next time his thoughts spilled over, it wasn’t because one in particular was life changing, but because there were so many. It was the end of January, and everybody was talking about love, and kisses, and things that were far too unimportant for a god like Blackstar. He couldn’t help but wonder though, everybody’s idea of couples was the same. What if there was a different idea, something that deviated from the cookie cutter idea of a couple? He was on the roof of the academy thinking about it when he heard footsteps. He turned around to see Kid looking at him from the window.

” Classes are over, you can go home now.”

” Oh. I didn’t realize school was out already.”

” Well, you skipped it the entire day, so it seems appropriate you’d lose track of time,” Kid said with a disapproving frown.

” Sorry, but a god has better things to do than sit on the most uncomfortable seat in the world and take notes,” he said smiling.

” I’m a god, and I do that.”

” Yeah, but you’re also a huge dork.”

” Hey!” Kid said irritated, but a smile crept on his face anyway.

” I was also just... you know.. thinking about stuff.” Kid crawled through the window to sit next to Blackstar.

” What’s on your mind?”

” Wellll,” Blackstar started, “ I... can I ask you a couple questions?”

” God no.” Kid said while quickly stiffening.

” It’s nothin bad, just about like, love and stuff.”

” _God no.”_  

“ Not like, banging or anything, like, romantic love. Geez Kid, such a dirty mind, tsk tsk.”

” Blackstar, you-I-  _vasagna.“_

Blackstar laughed hysterically. “ Is that still haunting you dude? Oh my gosh, that’s hilarious!”

” It’s bothering me Blackstar! I can never forget it!”

Blackstar’s laughter died down before he smiled at Kid. “ But seriously though, they’re normal questions.”

” Ok then, if you guarantee it,” Kid said leaning back against the roof. Blackstar leaned back as well, both of them looking at the clouds and the gradient of the sunset.

” What do you think about Valentine’s Day?”

” It’s okay. I think it’s nice that people get to show others how they feel, whether it be romantic or just appreciating your friends.”

” Ok then, you put some thought into that.”

” No, that’s just how I feel.”

” Well ya could’ve just left it at ‘ it’s ok’ “

” Do you want me to answer these honestly or not?” Kid said, turning his head to frown at Blackstar.

” Ok, yeah, go ahead and give me your entire five page answers for these,” Blackstar said reluctantly, but with a tone that showed he wanted his questions answered.

” Number two: what do you think about couples?”

“ Well, they’re couples, I guess.”

” WOW, that was life changing, that- can I get that in writing?”

” Shut up! I don’t have a good answer for that one, I don’t really have any input on couples,” Kid said, trying to defend his crappy answer.

” Ok ok, you don’t have to tell me how you feel about couples in general, but uh, how do you feel about them like, smoochin in public and calling each other nicknames and stuff?”

” Hmmm...” Kid hummed, thinking about his response, “ I think that maybe they shouldn’t make out in public, and that maybe excessive use of cheesy nicknames is irritating, but I don’t really see a problem with couples.”

” Ok, but what makes the nicknames irritating?”

Kid let a small grimace cross his lips. “ Most of them aren’t even creative. For example: honey bear? Who came up with that? What does that mean? It sounds disgusting, like they’re calling you sticky. I just- I don’t know, I guess it’s a weird peeve I have.”

Blackstar smiled at him, a look of small understanding on his face. “ Yeah, it is pretty weird and sticky. Like, what does lovebug mean? Am I a bug? Am I a  _lovely_ bug? Do-“ Blackstar gasped in the middle of his sentence, “ Do you accept me for the cockroach I am? Am I truly the best vermin you set eyes on?” Kid giggled at Blackstar’s little performance. “ Oh goodness, my wings flutter with excitement and longing, kiss my little cockroach mouth Kid!” He threw himself towards Kid, making gross clicking noises with his tongue.

” You’re disgusting! Stop!!”

He two boys continued to laugh as Blackstar buried his face in Kid’s neck, still making the gross clicking sounds.

Their laughter quieted down and they steadied their breathing. Blackstar still had his face nuzzled in Kid’s neck, but neither of them cared or made a move to shift themselves.

” Kid,” Blackstar said, his breath warming Kid’s neck, “ do you think all couples are the same?” Kid closed his eyes and thought, feeling the steady breathing against his neck and the feeling of something foreign in him.

” No, not all of them are the same. Soul and Maka are a pretty strange couple compared to others.”

” Well Yeah, both of them are weirdos, but... they’re still like all the other couples somehow.”

” I think the only thing that they have similar to other couples is that they’re a boy and girl, other than that Soul and Maka have an interesting relationship.”

” That’s it!” Blackstar said, pressing himself closer to Kid, “ All the couples I’ve seen are boy and girl! Like, people talk about gay and lesbian people, but I’ve never seen them anywhere, and all the valentines out there in stores are always focused towards straight people. Is there like, a specific couple you have to be, or...”

Kid closed his eyes again, feeling Blackstar’s breathing get heavier on his neck. He could still feel it, the foreign sensation in him.

” I think... no. You don’t have to be a specific couple. There is no specific couple. You don’t have to use shitty nicknames, and you don’t have to  _not_ use them. Just because nobody else seems to know you’re there, doesn’t mean you have to be somebody or be with somebody to get their recognition.”

Blackstar didn’t say anything after his little speech. Neither of them did. After a couple minutes, Kid broke the silence.

” ... Sorry for my essay of an answer.”

” No, I... I would’ve been upset if you had just left it at ‘no’ “.

” Oh. Thanks, I guess. I’m glad I gave you a good answer.” 

They both sat there for what seemed like days, months, years, before Blackstar sat up.

” I gotta go. I told Tsubaki I’d get groceries for dinner like, an hour ago.”

” Ah, procrastinating as usual, I see,” Kid said with a smile.

” Um, excuse me, but you were the one who distracted me, thank you very much,” Blackstar said, giving a bitter smile to Kid, who giggled at him.

” You’re very welcome.”

Blackstar stuck his tongue out at Kid before skidding down the roof back into he window.

” Bye Kiddo,” he said with a smirk.

” Bye bug,” Kid said with a large grin. Blackstar looked up at him before returning an even bigger smile and clicking his tongue. As he crawled out of sight, Kid realized the feeling was gone.

 _” Oh,”_ he thought,  _“ that was his heart. He had been so close that I felt his heartbeat on my arm.”_ Kid sat on the roof, thinking about all of Blackstar’s questions, although this time he wasn’t lifeless, he felt more alive than ever. The sky faded into a dark purple as he thought about commercialized love and kissing cockroaches.

* * *

 

They swam as one school, riding every wave that blew towards them. They crackled and flitted as one, like a symphony of fireflies. Even though each individual one was a tangled mess, he tangled together into something neat and functional, something beautiful and complex. Who would’ve thought that one word could tear it all apart in an instant?

” Hi bug,”

” Bye bug,”

” Thank you bug,”

 “ Please stop beating up that innocent student bug, they weren’t looking at you funny.”

It was that simple. All Kid had to do was throw in a simple word and Blackstar’s entire brain melted. What was funny to Blackstar was that the name originated from Blackstar being a gross cockroach, and it turned into something that made every part of him spark into flames. Eventually, he didn’t even think it was the name that made him unravel, but Kid himself was pulling his strings and making him a mess. It was like Kid took all of Blackstar’s questions and made them disappear into nothing, like pulling the string of crumpled fabric and watching it flow into paper thin strands. There was one question that Kid couldn’t pull from Blackstar though, no matter how deep he looked into Blackstar’s eyes, and no matter how many bugs he threw into a plead for a favor.

” Soul,” Blackstar started, walking with his best friend to the local fast food joint. He didn’t remember what it was called, probably Death-something, just like literally everything else in the goddamn town. His friend looked over at him, holding his arms behind his head like he cool kid he was trying to be.

” Sup?” He questioned Blackstar.

” Okay first of all, put your arms down, that’s  _my_ thing.”

” What is?”

” Walking around with my hands behind my head because I’m the coolest person to ever exist?”

” Dude, that’s not a trademark, that’s just something people do, and in your case you do it a lot.”

” Which means it’s my thing.”

” No it- ok, what was your question dipshit?” Soul asked while reluctantly throwing his arms down at his sides.

” How do you know if... you know... you have... uh...” Blackstar tried to spit the sentence out, but his mouth wouldn’t cooperate with the words his brain was trying to get him to say.

” How do you know if you have what? Like a disease or something? Dude, I swear to god if you tell me about some gross medical thing you have-“

” DUDE HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE WRONG FEELS. I mean not the wrong ones, they’re not wrong. This is fine. I’m good. They’re just not the ones we’ve been taught to feel and what if I’m feeling the forbidden feels, but the forbidden feels feel gooood, and I’m a gross gay cockroach who literally wants to feel the sweet embrace of death.”

Both of them stopped walking and stared at each other. Souls face was, surprisingly, not as confused at it should’ve been after a statement like that, and from Blackstar nonetheless.

” You’re... a cockroach.”

” Yeah. And I click my tongue.” He demonstrated the harmonious sound of his gross tongue clicking.

“ ... I don’t think cockroaches do that.”

” I don’t need your approval.”

” Fair enough.” The silence continued for another short period.

” ... and you’re gay for the sweet embrace of death?”

” ... I want Kid to kiss my gross cockroach mouth.” Both boys stood in another silence.

” Can... can I get that sentence in writing?”

” If you can explain to me what the fuck I’m feeling, then sure.”

” Alright, you better start writing then, because I’m going to try and explain what the fuck your little bug heart is feeling.”

And there it was. Bug. It unraveled Blackstar, making his thoughts disappear, no, they didn’t disappear, they just turned into Kid. They all flickered as one, a melted mess of ivory skin and stripes an-

“ Dude what the fuck are you doing.”

” What?” Blackstar snapped back to reality. He had been walking in circles around Soul, leaning side to side with his trademark hands behind his head, and overall acting like a weirdo.

” Dude, and you think me and Maka are weird...”

” Shut up! I’m experiencing love for the first time!”

” Love for someone other than yourself, you mean.”

” Soul! Dipshit!”

Blackstar chased Soul all the way to the fast food place, where they ordered drinks then started the trip back home. They didn’t talk about Blackstar’s gay cockroach problem until Soul noticed Blackstar’s weird behavior on the way home.

” Hey, you ok bro? You’re acting weird.”

” Huh? I’m completely normal and alive, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

” The fact that you used ‘alive’ to describe yourself is pretty not normal, also the fact that you didn’t drink any of your soda until I pointed it out, which afterwards you took the lid off of and dumped the entire extra large Pepsi down your throat.” Blackstar still had soda all over his shirt and neck from when he did that.

” Dude I’m great I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Soul sighed and stepped in front of Blackstar. “ If you’re nervous and weirded out by your feelings, maybe you should tell a certain somebody how you feel.” He wiggles his eyebrows for emphasis.

” But I already told you dude.”

” Okay, first of all I’m flattered that you think I’m the one special someone in your life. That means a lot bro.”

” You mean a lot bro.”

” Bro. I’m grateful. But I meant telling Kid how you feel. He’s your special somebody.”

” Oh!” Blackstar said, realization dawning upon him. “ But, Valentine’s Day was like, eight thousand years ago. Isn’t that the dedicated month for special someones?”

” There is always a time for special someones. Maka is my special someone every day,” Soul said with a small blush.

” Dude, That’s gay.”

” You’re gay.”

” Damn straight.”

” Damn not straight.”

” You got me there.”

” Ok ok, enough gay jokes. We gotta figure out how you’re going to seduce this cockroach loving homosexual.”

” Oh...” Blackstar said, a realization hitting him in the face like a brick.

” What’s wrong?”

” I don’t... actually know if he’s gay...?”

” Ah,” Soul said, the same realization dawning upon him. They both stood on the sidewalk in thought, Soul scratching his head and Blackstar stroking his sticky soda chin.

” Aha! What if you asked him on a date, but you didn’t make it too date-y!”

” WOW! That’s a great idea!”

” Yeah it is!”

” What the fuck does it mean!”

” Ok,” Soul started, putting his hands together, “ you ask him to come over, or to go eat, or wherever you’re gonna ask him to go with you. Then you tell him how you feel, and then he’ll either be like ‘oh that’s why you brought me on this nice date!’ Or ‘oh sorry, I’m not gay, but thanks for not immediately asking me on a date without knowing how I feel.’ “

” Ohhhh! So many I’m not overdoing it then, but I’m also not just asking him at a random place with no planning.”

” Yeah, pretty much.”

” Dude! That sounds so easy!” Blackstar said while jumping up into the air. “ Hell, I’m gonna ask him today! Right now! I’m gonna call him!”

” Yeah man! Do it!”

” I’m asking him to come over at five!”

” You’re covered in soda!”

” Five thirty then! I’m gonna shower!”

The boys high-fived before each of them ran home. Blackstar took a shower as fast as he could before changing into fairly decent clothes. He sat at the table with a big plastered smile on his face, awaiting his hopefully future boyfriend.

_” He’s going to be so impressed! I can see it now... ‘ wow bug! This is amazing! You got drinks and food out for meeeee??? I’m so honored, I’m going to smooch your cockroach mouth right here!’ Yep. It’s gonna be great.”_

He basked on his thoughts and fantasies about Kid kissing his cheek gently, and how he wouldn’t have to worry about the thoughts swimming in his head being about Kid, because he knew Kid would be thinking about him to-

Oh shit. He didn’t get food. Or drinks. There was nothing for Kid to be pleasantly surprised for. There was no reason to give Blackstar tiny bug kisses. Blackstar looked at the clock. Five twenty five. He launched himself at top speed towards his phone, immediately calling Soul the exact second the screen came in contact with his fingers.

” Hey dude, wha-“

” SOUL I DIDN’T BUY FOOD OR DRINKS.”

” YOU DIDN'T BUY FOOD OR DRINKS?!”

” THEY’RE NOT IN MY HOUSE I DON’T OWN THEM.”

” Ok ok ok, we need to stay calm-Get Tsubaki to buy food!”

” She’s not heeeerrrreee!”

” Oh Jesus!- do you have any food there?!”

” I have- Hey what do you think passes as tea?”

” Anything that seems fancy and warm?”

” I GOT TEA THEN!” Blackstar threw open his fridge door and grabbed a handful of caprisuns. “ WE GOT THE GOOD SHIT!!!” He pulled the microwave door open so hard he was suprised it didn’t come off. Blackstar dumped the caprisuns in the microwave before hitting the start button. “ I have made my own tea!”

” Nice! What did you do?”

” I threw a couple caprisuns into the microwave!”

” Nic- Hey wait did you take them out of the pouches?”

” Why would I need to-“ A crackling sound came from behind him. Blackstar turned around to see sparks of electricity coming from the microwave. “ Nyoh!- SHIT!!” He opened he microwave door and reached for the caprisuns. “ OWW!” He screamed as he pulled back from the scorching juice pouches.

” You ok bro?”

” Yeah I- I gotta go!” Before Soul could respond, Blackstar hung up and tore open his kitchen cabinets, reaching for a pair of tongs. He grabbed the juice packets out before reaching back into the drawer for a knife. He sliced the tops of the caprisuns open before grabbing two cups and dumping the liquid in. He ran the cups over to the table and wiped up everything that he spilled before throwing the tongs and the knife into the sink, observing the area after he completed the task. Something still smelled off, he thought. He turned around and saw the smoldering microwave. “ Ohhh noo,” he panicked, looking for a solution to get rid of the smoke. He opened the window of the living room, airing all the smoke out before turning back to the microwave. The appliance was still smoking, and even if it wasn’t it looked like a giant mound of ashes that Blackstar had left on his counter. He heard footsteps outside his door as he sprinted towards the microwave. He had to hide it, but he couldn’t just seek out a good hiding spot within thirty seconds, much less eliminate the smoke emanating from it. There was a knock on the door. Blackstar turned in circles holding the giant microwave. “ I’ll be right there!” He stopped mid-circle, his vision locking on the open window. He sprinted towards it as he heard another set of knocks. “ I’m comin! Hold on!” and those were the last words his microwave heard, or would’ve heard had it had ears, before it was thrown out of the window. Blackstar rushed towards the door and ripped it open. Kid stood in his doorway, looking fairly suprised at the gasping Blackstar.

” H-he- hi Kiddo!” Blackstar panted, trying his best to appear casual, and not like he just threw an expensive appliance out the window after setting it on fire.

” Hi bug,” Kid greeted him, and that made it so much harder for Blackstar to catch his breath, “ are you okay?”

” Yeah, yeah I uh, I was just running around, gettin stuff ready.”

“ You  were getting two glasses of juice ready?” Kid gestured towards the glasses of sizzling caprisun.

” I had to make it perfect for you. I mean- for ussss. Yessss. Usss.” Blackstar remembered it wasn’t supposed to be extremely date-y, and he hoped that attempt to water the romance down worked.

” You say ‘us’ like you’re in some weird cult.”

Oh. Well at least it wasn’t too romantic.

” Here, why don’t you come sit down. I mean, I didn’t invite you to stand in my doorway.” Blackstar led Kid over to the table, pulling back Kid’s chair so he could sit down. Oh no, wait. Was that too gentlemanly? Maybe he should pull the chair out from under him, that would definitely make it less romantic. Wait, it would also drive off Kid and leave him with a lack of cockroach smooches. Blackstar’s thoughts exploded in his head, the symphony of wonders and thoughts turning into a jumbled mess of white noise the more he panicked.

” Blackstar-“

” What! What, I mean, sorry I was distracted.”

” Aren’t you going to sit down?” Blackstar  returned to reality. He was still gripping on to Kid’s chair with intense force. He looked at Kid, who had worry spread across his face.

” Sorry, I... I’m just tired.”

” Do you need me to come over another time?”

” No! I... no. I needed you here today.” He probably didn’t, Blackstar thought, he was a lot more confident when he had soda covering his front half, but now he was just a hot mess.

” Is it kind of smoky in here, or is it just me?”

” I’m... trying a new cologne. Yeah.” Kid looked at him with worry and another emotion that Blackstar couldn’t place.

” So that giant burn mark about the shape and size of a microwave isn’t what’s causing the smell?” Blackstar turned around to see the black scar on his kitchen counter from where the microwave previously was. That’s what it was, the emotion that Blackstar couldn’t place; suspicion.

” Are you okay bug?” Kid tried, and that made Blackstar melt, but it was different this time. It was like his heart was pouring out of him in abandonment, and the white noise in his head called out Kid’s name in desperation now, not just longing. He didn’t know why he felt this way, it was just a simple mistake. A simple mistake that cost hundreds of dollars and was thrown into the oblivion after being charred to death. He should just be able to recover from this like always, like he always rebounded from everything. Maybe he should just-

“ Kid, I got something to tell you.”

All the thoughts in his head came to an abrupt stop. The fish stopped swimming; there was no sea to swim in, and the symphony was silenced; the instruments had melted and twisted into incomprehensible shapes, and the fireflies that sparkled and flitted burned out like the remnants of a dazzling firework. The only thing left inhabiting his head, embedding itself within the depths of his brain was the awareness of his heart.

” Bug?”

“ Yes?”

” Are you ok?”

” Why do you love me?”

”... what?”

” Why do you love me? Am I a bug? Am I a lovely bug? Do you really accept me for the bug I am? A bug that throws microwaves out of windows because he tried to cook caprisuns, a bug that throws an entire extra large Pepsi in his own face, a bug that thinks about all the thoughts in his head at night, and not the ones that I ask you; the ones that really matter, like if I’m a god, what’s going to happen to everyone else, and what’s going to happen if I’m not a god, and what’s going to happen to  _you?_ I want to know why you love me, and I also want you to know that- that I love you.”

They sat in silence, Kid unraveling Blackstar more and more without even needing to pull the strings. It felt like their hearts were being cut out, and the silence only twisted the blades more. Kid picked up his hand from where it was laying on his lap and brought it forward to place it on Blackstar’s chest. It was foreign, the feeling, but he wanted to map it out. He wanted to explore every inch of that pounding noise, to match it with his own, know every twist and turn of the rhythm it produced.

” You’re the most endearing bug I’ve ever laid eyes on.” And he felt it, the feeling spreading throughout his fingertips as Blackstar’s heartbeat quickened. He felt it as he leaned in and felt the warmth of Blackstar’s breath against his, and he wanted to feel it forever. They didn’t want to be the perfect cookie cutter couple. They were just a normal cookie with a bug on it. Nobody had to eat it, nobody had to like it, and nobody had to acknowledge it, but they were the perfect couple in themselves.

They swam like fishes in the sea, swirling and gliding with every new wave that came towards them. They were like a symphony of fireflies, sparking and flitting and dancing, and they were like a bug. Most people thought of the more disliked ones when the general topic was brought up, but there were some people who liked all of them the all same, some who would dazzle at all of them, some who would gladly listen to the little chirps their wings made, and some who loved to give them tiny kisses and love, no matter how colorful or dull they were.

Even if they were cockroaches.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So, um. Gaddam. That took forever on my phone, and you know what’s even more awarding than finishing this?  
> C A R P A L T U N N E L!  
> This is for my friend kiwiio, who pollutes my phone with fanfics, and for pastel who let me send said cursed literature.
> 
> Also friendly reminder to NOT kiss cockroaches. Not up close at least. You can blow kisses.


End file.
